To Sex... or Not to Sex

"So, the two of you've never had sex? Why are you waiting? What if it's bad? What if he's small?" These were the popular inquiries during my time of celibacy while dating Stephon. Of course, any person in their right mind would ask these questions. After all, everyone has sex with their significant other... And anyone who doesn't is just another religious freak who condemns everyone and judges everything, right??? WRONG! I too once felt the same way (after all, I was a sexual person who believed in being intimate with someone I cared for). But if this was even half true, then our bodies can be compared to casual dine-in restaurants: You go in, feed your flesh,, and then leave. Don't forget about the "we have a right to refuse service to anyone" sign. I'm sorry but my body, also know as a temple according to the bible, is of more value than that. I had to step out of what I thought I knew, and see myself from a different perspective. My decision to become celibate (absolutely no sexual contact whatsoever) happened long before I met my husband.. I'm reminded of past relationships that led up to my decision, I would find myself pursuing men, when they clearly had commitment phobia. Why did I do that? Why was I rsvping to heartbreak at club deja vu? 

I'll tell you why: with every "relationship", a piece of me was taken, leaving me with emptiness. Trying To fill that void caused me to look for love in all the wrong places, which led to unnecessary soul ties. I finally got the strength to say enough is enough, and started on a new path I had never walked before. I increased my prayer life and started hanging out with people who were on the same journey. My new circle of friends not only encouraged me to commit to this new lifestyle of purity, but they edified me throughout the process.
This wasn't a game for me. I was seriously done doing things my way and started believing God at His word... And it didn't take long for me to reap the benefits of my new lifestyle! :)

Having experienced sexual encounters prior to marriage, and now being able to make love to my husband, I must say that there is absolutely no comparison between the two. Think about it: When having sex outside of marriage, you are more subjected to break ups, cheating, lying, heartbreaks, diseases etc. However, sex in marriage allows your love, patience, understanding, respect, and adoration to be in full affect. That is, of course, if your heart is in the right place and the two of you are equally yoked! If not, pray that you have a true encounter with the One who Is love so He can show you the way. The revelation on sex being intended for marriage came to me during my time of consecration. God showed me how this covenant acts as a shield of protection in marriage, which means I am now safe from all of the aforementioned nonsense that accompanied sex prior to.

I won't go too deep with this being the second article and all, but I will close with this: if you're waiting until marriage, I salute you! If you're thinking about it, stop! Trust God!!! God created sex! He wouldn't set you up with a husband who couldn't 'rock the boat'. For the first time in my life I'm in a relationship with a man I can boldly say loves me. We pray together, have fun, talk about everything under the sun, and are the best of friends. As for our sex life.... it was WELLLLLLL worth the wait! ;)
- CC

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