 We hear the term thrown out quite often as it relates to the requirements of a wife, but what exactly qualifies a woman to be considered "wife material?" To be honest, it depends who you ask. The Stephon of 2012 would've told you that she had to be smart, sexy, and look a certain way. Her hair would have to be a specific length, eyes and skin tone a particular color, and she would have to have just enough attitude to keep me on my toes but not too much that it would become annoying. Her waist would need to be a particular size, her breast and hind-parts a desired look and feel, and she would have to have at least a four pack in the mid section. But the fact of the matter is that I had met several women who fit that description. From the time I began college, through the 6th year of my bachelor life in Los Angeles (the peak of my sex life, which occurred over a 12 year period), I had encountered many women who met every physical and sexual requirement known to MAN... they even had great personalities and nice feet.
3 Comments
 First off, there's a difference between being celibate, and going through a "dry spell." Whenever I would experience a dry spell (period of time without getting any), it wasn't due to lack of effort by any means. I was still seeking the action, just falling short. That said, celibacy is not only the act of abstaining from sex, but more so the intention to do so on purpose.
.  "So, the two of you've never had sex? Why are you waiting? What if it's bad? What if he's small?" These were the popular inquiries during my time of celibacy while dating Stephon. Of course, any person in their right mind would ask these questions. After all, everyone has sex with their significant other... And anyone who doesn't is just another religious freak who condemns everyone and judges everything, right??? WRONG! I too once felt the same way (after all, I was a sexual person who believed in being intimate with someone I cared for). But if this was even half true, then our bodies can be compared to casual dine-in restaurants: You go in, feed your flesh,, and then leave. Don't forget about the "we have a right to refuse service to anyone" sign. I'm sorry but my body, also know as a temple according to the bible, is of more value than that. I had to step out of what I thought I knew, and see myself from a different perspective. My decision to become celibate (absolutely no sexual contact whatsoever) happened long before I met my husband.. I'm reminded of past relationships that led up to my decision, I would find myself pursuing men, when they clearly had commitment phobia. Why did I do that? Why was I rsvping to heartbreak at club deja vu?
 As the sun bled through the blinds, this sublime and immeasurable joy entered my heart. In 8 hours, I was going to marry the man of my destiny. I use the word destiny instead of dreams because I believe this was something already written in "Christina's Life" book. The peace that followed the joy was inexplicable. I started replaying my "Journey of Singleness" in my mind, just to continue to give thanks to God. Knowing the life I led to the life I now lead are polar opposites, I can expect more amazing things to come into my path because of the sacrifices I have made. Let me give you a little back story. I've dated in LA, Miami, and New York. The 3 most influential cities in our nation, if not the world, and man have I encountered some fools and follies. I've had my heart broken (more than once) because I wore it on my sleeve like an ornament made of glass. I didn't realize that over time and with every encounter, I would feel less like myself. I was operating only in my flesh, and had adopted this new age philosophy everyone was trying; women having sex without any expectations, emotions, or heart. The physical pleasure that I was seeking ultimately left me dead inside (you may as well call it necrophilia).
|
