By Stephon Chaney
When I share with people the expedited timeframe in which Christina and I were able to go from dating to marriage, and that it was celibacy that propelled us, they tend to look at me like I'm crazy. But coming from my previous lifestyle (that of a manwhore), I understand COMPLETELY how absurd that statement may sound.
In fact, I recall a time when I first heard a similar story. Back in February of 2013 (the day before Valentine's Day/Single Awareness Day) I decided to visit what I thought would be "mid-week bible study" at One Church LA. Surprisingly, I walked into a packed house of young people who were seemingly too excited to be in church on a Wednesday night (at least the type of "church" I was accustomed to). As it turned out, in addition to taking part in mid-week service, everyone had gathered to hear DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good provide insight on their journey to marriage.
After introducing the couple and having them share their backstory, Pastor Touré Roberts looked to DeVon and said, "so let's talk about the celibacy.... how did you do it? How did you NOT have sex???" Wait... what?! I said to myself, "I know this man is not about to sit up in this church and lie in the face of all these people... pretending to have "waited" to have sex with MEAGAN GOOD, is he? No way!" But the conversation continued, and both DeVon and Meagan spoke as if this celibacy nonsense was true. I'm still looking around like "am I the only one hearing this?!" But everyone in the theatre appeared to be buying it... as if it were actually possible. My next thought was, "where am I, and who are all of these delusional people?" There's no way this man was dating MEAGAN GOOD... I mean, and she was actually feeling him... and he wasn't even TRYING to get down to the get down. At this point, I felt the need to get up and walk out of the church. I was determined to make my escape, prior to the building being struck by lightning. There was a plethora of lies being told IN CHURCH, for God's sake!
But then DeVon said something that rattled me. When giving reason as to why he stopped having sex (prior to meeting Meagan), he said "I could not continue to live a double life, I'm too committed to my purpose... and If premarital sex was going to disqualify me or show me as unworthy to handle God's purpose on my life; then at the end of my life could I say that it was worth it?" In an instance, whether I wanted to admit it or not, a lightbulb went off. I had been living a reckless lifestyle for YEARS... but this would be the first time I viewed that lifestyle as a potential threat to my destiny. I knew, at some point in my life, that I would have to make a choice. Would I be willing to take the risk of continuing to do life my way? Or would I finally go all in and try God's way? In other words, "to smash or not to smash?" I obviously didn't decide THAT NIGHT, because I still went on to meet up with a cut buddy after service (judge me, I'm saved now). But that word undoubtedly gave me a new perspective..
It took a few months for the change to actually materialize in my life, but the seed of celibacy was planted on February 13, 2013. I had no idea that I would experience a series of life changing events over the next few months, which would then lead to the total surrendering of my life to Christ in July of that year... but that's exactly what happened. I wanted to be all in this time, and that included the sacrificing of my previous lifestyle... most painfully, the sex.. Ironically, the people at whom I had once scoffed for being transparent about celibacy, became my sole point of reference as I entered into this new way of living. I knew that if DeVon could "wait", and he's a human, and he was dating MEAGAN GOOD throughout the process; then it was at least possible for me to do it as well. It wasn't only about giving up sex, but more so about experiencing the best that God has to offer. And if I had never even TRIED to go all in... then how could I knock the idea of it? So I did it. I made the leap... and to make a long story short, my life changed in ways I could have never imagined. What I got in return for the sacrifice far outweighed that of which I feared to be missing out on. God knew exactly how to get my attention regarding this area of my life, and He strategically chose to use the testimony of DeVon and Meagan (Rev. 12:11).
Order your copy of DeVon & Meagan's book 'THE WAIT' here!
In THE WAIT, married Hollywood power couple, producer DeVon Franklin and award-winning actress Meagan Good, share their storybook relationship and the advice they discovered through years of ups and downs in dating and life struggles. With warmth, intimate transparency, and spiritual wisdom, DeVon and Meagan put a fresh spin on modern dating and the keys to unlocking the code buried within life’s frustrating intermissions and heartbreaks. Complete with strategies and practical tips for surviving and thriving until THE WAIT is finally over, readers will be empowered as they discover how waiting for sex until marriage will help them achieve the love of their life and the life they love!