By Christina Chaney
Are you instagram stalking someone? Checking your phone every five seconds for text message updates, or deleting a guy's number just to keep yourself from calling him? Did your heart just skip after reading those questions? I've got news for you... It's time to let go and let God! You've been waiting all day (if not all week) to hear from a guy you really like (or slept with) and as soon as you're preparing for bed, your phone goes off with a text message from him. You're excited, yet at the same time you cant help but wonder, ''Is this a booty call?" Then, you lie to yourself... "I'm just going to go over there and 'talk'." I don't know about you, but I have put myself in that type of situation time and time again. Simply put, It never ends well.
When I was single, I was extremely picky. If I encountered a man who met all of my criteria,
(tall, sexy, nice teeth, stylish, and had gwap) I knew that if I was going to be taken seriously as a legitimate companion, I would have to "put out." Otherwise, they'd suffer from ADD and be on to the next. There's no way the guys I came across would dare to wait on the sexual escapades. Especially since we live in a world where their appetites are being fulfilled on so many levels. So it seemed natural to have sex when feelings got involved; when the timing felt right. But, for some reason, my method was proving to be ineffective. I had my heart broken, and was left feeling played on more than one occasion... And I was over it! This point in my life reminds me of the famous quote we've all heard, which states "doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results is the definition of insanity." I either needed to change my approach, or prepare to submit myself to the local asylum... Either way, something had to give.
I realized that if I wanted to see change in my relationships, or in the types of guys I was attracting, I had to honor the 'old wives tale' of keeping my 'cookies in the jar'! This filters out the dirt and allows for the right guy to come along at the right time (players don't typically waist their time with seriously celibate women)! I saw this process as me preserving myself for my husband, because the man that God has for me deserves it. Think about it! If every woman came together and took a vow of purity, can you imagine the power that would be released!? Can you imagine how the men (not all, but some) would go back to true chivalry, and how many proposals would be taking place?! That's a prayer request of mine.
When I became serious in my walk with Christ, I cut out everything. I didn't even date because I wanted to avoid any potential temptation. I remember saying to my best friend "What If I've already met my husband, but God is keeping me from recognizing him until I'm ready?" Well, that's just what God did! I met Stephon before I made my commitment to being celibate and we didn't start courting until the appointed time.. So, you never know who God is preparing for you, or who you're being prepared for. If you find yourself in the above scenario, wait on God. Pray and ask Him to fill you to the overflow with His spirit. He has someone for you who is well worth the wait. I know it can seem hard to break free from someone, but know that we draw our strength from God. If you feel like you can slip at any moment, get some friends who will hold you accountable. Turn your phone off, delete some numbers if you have to. For me, it was a matter of surrendering everything to God.... and now I have PEACE! And with peace comes deliverance from stalking on social media :)