An Intimate Companionship

By Christina Chaney

The Bible mentions that marriage is sacred, but it wasn't until recently that I actually understood the significance of that statement.. In the first year of my marriage, I learned a lot about myself (the good parts and the not so good parts). I will admit that the world had influenced my view on marriage by means of its fairytale depiction. You get engaged, have an extravagant wedding, a romantic honeymoon, lots of babies, and you live happily ever after. Then, in fine print, it suggests that you should resort to divorce at the first sign of trouble. Well, God shut all that down during my time of consecration, and later exposed to me the truths about marriage…and He started with my honeymoon.

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The wedding was amazing! Blush, golds, and ivory landscaped our venue. The food was great and the DJ was poppin’. On our wedding night, Stephon and I were like teenagers with raging hormones experiencing each other for the first time. He was my reward and I was his. In the following days, we went on our honey moon to Cancun. Our vacation started off great. But there was one major problem… I was still “rehabbing” from our wedding night, thus prohibiting us from having sex. A couple days later Stephon incurred food poisoning, which led to the cancelation of our remaining excursions. If that wasn't enough, on the very last day of our trip I decided to wear my beautiful pear shaped diamond ring. Because we would be on the resort with no activities planned, I didn't feel the need to lock it in the safe as I had done in the days prior. Long story short, it's in the ocean now... and I blame the margaritas. The negativity occurred in one big ripple effect. But God was showing us something during our highly anticipated honeymoon. The flesh is subjected to a lot of disappointments, but how we handle them is what defines our true character. Stephon and I could’ve let our frustrations get the best of us, shooting words of calamity at one another. But instead, we acknowledged God and loved on each other even more. A bomb wedding and an amorous honeymoon does not define a good marriage. And again, I'm speaking from experience because our honeymoon was the worst!

Our marriage is an exciting one. However, there is one recurring speed bump… communication. My husband and I interpret love differently, which can occasionally lead to frustration. Like most men and women, Stephon recognizes love as respect, and I understand love as affection. Learning to communicate in love, while understanding how each of us recognizes love will improve as we continue to grow. But the ultimate definition of love is sacrifice. The bible tells us that women are to submit to their husbands, and husbands to love their wives. Essentially, sacrificing whatever mood swings we're in for the others sake. In marriage, we must also recognize that we are One Flesh. If your hand starts to hurt, you’re not going to cut it off. You’re going to go to the doctor and treat it as necessary. I’ve learned to look at marriage in this way; our spouse is our body and God is the doctor. We have to see each other through the blood of Jesus, holding no record of wrong, and living with a forgiving heart. Stephon and I recognize that God’s position is higher than any thought against our marriage. That is why we can trust one another to never lie, cheat, abuse, or abandon the relationship. If one falls, we are to pick them up just as God has done with us. Not by our strength but by His. Without this foundation, we would be a hot mess, getting married and divorced like a sport, and racking up soul ties as trophies.
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I’ve learned that my husband is like a spiritual mirror, used to expose the depths of me. Being created in His image, my husband is also a reflection of God. I am to focus my attention on the deeper things and cast no care on that which is perishing. When we accept Christ, we accept the consciousness of our lives no longer being our own, but belonging to God. Marriage was designed to mirror our relationship with God; and that is the most intimate companionship.
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